The FAMILIES HELPING FAMILIES Portion

The heart of the Initiative is motivated families helping 3 other families talk more by using the safe kind of communication called dialogue.

Dialogue is merely asking questions of each other out of curiosity in order to better know and understand one another. Dialogue usually means just asking the questions "Why?" and "What do you mean?" over and over again. When you ask a person a "why" question, it usually opens up a bit of new information about him or her. Since dialogue is designed merely to find out information, it is very valuable in helping family members understand and appreciate one another.

In a nutshell, one family buys a Family-Building Kit of 4 Family Treasure Card Sets from the Initiative. They use one set for enhancing their own family and the other three sets to reach three other families. They get these other families to agree to receive one Dialogue Treasure Card each week for a half year. Each card lists 15 fun and educational dialogue starters. Giving them out weekly is done to intentionally encourage the parent receiving the Treasure Card to use it to build his or her family.

The motivated families (called Initiative Families) are recruited primarily through the organizations they belong to – churches, YM/YWCAs, sports groups, social organizations, employers – any group that joins the effort as a result of the invitation by the sponsor (city, county, service club, community organization, etc.). For example, a small church might have 25 families who will participate and help 75 other families in the community. An Initiative Family would reach out to 3 other families at work, in the neighborhood, in their extended family or their friends.

The strategy of the Initiative involves the power of weekly encouragement, even if that just takes a minute or two. For example, a mom who works might ask one of the men or women at work, "Would you be willing for me to give you a Family Treasure Card each week for a half year? Talking about the things on the card can help your family grow closer and give your kids powerful skills for lifetime success in employment and relationships?" Once a person agrees, and many would, he or she would be given a different Family Treasure Card for family dialogue every week for a half year.

Simply put, people are encouraged by others to strengthen their family with Family Treasure Cards which increase safe family communication. Families help families.

So, for example, how could an insensitive man be helped to get his family and himself talking more to build a stronger relationship with his wife and kids – one that will head off drug abuse, delinquency, poor school performance, etc.?

Actually, it can be rather simple.

A friend, neighbor, relative or someone at this insensitive man's place of employment who has purchased a Family-Building Kit asks him if he would like for his kids to turn out very successful and would he also like the best possible relationships with his wife/partner and kids. He will likely reply, "Yes" because that is the right thing to say.

But, once he agrees, his friend tells him that he will be giving him a Family Treasure Card every week for six months with ideas of things to talk about and how to make those conversations safe through dialogue. Then he receives the first Treasure Card along with an instruction booklet .

This very resistant husband and father will likely toss the Treasure Cards down somewhere week after week and not use them. (Or, he might just give them a try.) Hopefully, one of his kids might eventually pick one up, become intrigued, and want to talk. Or, one of the questions on one of the cards will make him think, "Yes, I'd like to ask that question!" In any case, because he is being encouraged every week when given a new Treasure Card with 15 possible dialogue starters, there is a good chance that eventually something will spur him on to use the cards – and his family will grow stronger because of better relationships.

But, if it never works with this father and husband, at least something was tried other than just sitting back helpless in the face of rising family dysfunction and crime.

The community saturation principle of the Initiative to Reduce Crime by Strengthening Families creates an ever-growing attitude that safe dialogue is the thing for families to do.

Size is 4.25 inches by 5.5 inches, one-fourth the size of a sheet of cover stock paper.

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